tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6838973126318599322024-03-14T01:32:20.616-07:00fucked up chickThe minutiae of my life, which may or may not be of interest.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.comBlogger160125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-19426835226788466992013-11-06T18:37:00.000-08:002013-11-06T18:37:00.170-08:00Why I Found "Mockingjay" Disappointing *SPOILERS*<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
!!<b>WARNING: </b>If you haven't read "The Hunger Games" trilogy or are waiting to see the movies, <b>SPOILERS!!</b><br />
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<b> </b>I really enjoyed the first book. Collins is a good writer, better than Meyer, and I <b>love</b> a female heroine who is brave and self-sufficient. Katniss was maybe a little too clueless in some ways for my taste, but I liked her, and Collins' imagery was sometimes poignant enough to make me cry.<br />
The second book was good, again, excellent imagery. But Cinna, one of my favorite characters, <b>dies, </b>which pissed me off. And I kind of got the feeling that the books weren't going the way I anticipated, which is rather egotistical I know, but <i>I like happy endings. </i>There's enough tragedy in real life, I don't want it in my entertainment too.<br />
"Mockingjay" just continued in the same vein. Great imagery, but too realistic. Prim <b>DIES!</b> The center of the inciting incident for the whole goddamned story, and Collins kills her off! This made me a touch irrational. I understand the whole "girl-as-pawn-of-powerful-competing-forces" thing, but FUCK THAT. Finnick <i>dies,</i> and Katniss ends up with Peeta, which is great for him, but frankly, I wanted her to end up with hot hunter Gale. In my mind, the only redeeming things were Kat's shooting of Coin and the death of Snow, but neither of them made up for my general disappointment. Also, I was glad that Buttercup survived, but he's just a cat.<br />
I dunno, maybe I'm too sensitive, maybe I take things too personally. I understand that Collins was writing for a young adult audience, and she felt the need to add some realism to her escapist fantasy. Life isn't all sunshine and daffodils and children need to know that, as if they don't already. I wanted more romance and less cold reality, more the way things should be, and less the way they are. Oh well. I do wonder if and what the movies will change, though. After all, Hollywood does share my love of happy endings.</div>
J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-66427304499356509252013-10-11T03:31:00.000-07:002013-10-11T03:31:24.997-07:00In Defense Of My Love Of "Twilight"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I don't know why I feel the need to defend my current borderline obsession with Stephenie Meyer's young adult novels. Maybe because they're young adult, or maybe because she's been criticized for not being a particularly good writer, or maybe because I'm a contrarian at heart and I often reject things I'll probably like just because they're popular. I haven't read any fiction in a while, like a <i>long</i> while, and maybe that plays into it. Or maybe it's just because they make me feel all gushy and fourteen again, which isn't a bad feeling, but a bit disconcerting at my age. And I have to agree, Meyer isn't particularly gifted. She writes about the level of a competent romance novelist, readable, but a little shallow. Stephen King's criticism of her might be valid, but there is one <b>big</b> difference between King and Meyer. He's a better writer, undoubtedly, but having read both of them, I'd like to inhabit the world that Meyer creates, whereas Mr. King's worlds, ummmm, NO.<br />
Meyer had a good idea, it came to her in a dream apparently, and she wasn't afraid to go with it. She, as much as I hate the phrase, thought outside the box, taking the well known lore about vampires and altering it, making it her own. I find this a gutsy move, admirable, and I'm jealous I didn't think of it. So her vampires sparkle in the sunlight, so what? That's the nice thing about mythical creatures, they're <b>mythical</b>, they can be anything you want. She made them more real, emotional creatures instead of just monsters. Coppola did this a bit in "Dracula" too, making the immortal Count somewhat sympathetic (casting Gary Oldman helped.) I also like how, in the last book, she starts to explore the scientific possibilities behind werewolves and vampires, like maybe they're not strictly supernatural, but preternatural.<br />
I started with the movies, more accessible I guess, I read the books because I wanted more. I like everyone's back stories, stuff that's not included in the movies because of time constraints. And I enjoyed seeing how the screenwriter, Melissa Rosenberg, chose to adapt the books, since a lot of the action takes place in character's heads. If I had been a dedicated fan of the books before I saw the movies, I probably would have been greatly disappointed. They're not great films, just like they're not great books, but I gave up long ago up hoping the movie will be better, or even as good as, the book, because it's just not possible. Unless you have a <b>really</b> lousy imagination.<br />
I find myself wishing Meyer would've done something like making the series open-ended, allowing other writers to continue with new books. It's not like her writing style is hard to copy. There's certainly enough material and storylines to work with, and she probably would've made another boatload of cash. But that's just the fangirl in me, not wanting the fantasy to end.</div>
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J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-76243503730903761822012-07-31T02:27:00.001-07:002012-07-31T02:27:48.971-07:00A Comprehensive List Of Actors From "The Dark Knight Rises" That I Would Totally Do<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<ol>
<li>Christian Bale- Panty <strong>dropper</strong>!! I'd even forgive him that unbelievably annoying voice.</li>
<li>Joseph Gordon-Levitt- Not a "3rd Rock" fan, but after "The Lookout" he really brought out my inner cougar.</li>
<li>Tom Hardy- Oh yessss...that mouth is reason enough, but I'd also like to touch that body he so lovingly and thoroughly transformed.</li>
<li>Michael Caine- I know he's, ahem, older but he's MICHAEL CAINE! 'Nuff said.</li>
<li>Gary Oldman- From "Sid & Nancy" to "Romeo Is Bleeding," "Immortal Beloved" to "The Fifth Element," major talent. And talent is a <strong>wicked </strong>turn-on.</li>
<li>Burn Gorman- Looking a little odd lately, but "Torchwood" alone earns him a spot.</li>
<li>Morgan Freeman- Again, AMAZING talent. And I'll bet he's a fantastic kisser.</li>
<li>Liam Neeson- Well, duh. Can imagine being held against the tall, lean length of him...</li>
<li>Daniel Sunjata- Does Christopher Nolan have a thing for guys with hot mouths?</li>
<li>Cillian Murphy- Those gorgeous eyes and "28 Days Later." Also, he plays evil pretty well and I'll bet he has a great imagination.</li>
<li>Christopher Judge- Again with the sexy mouth. "Stargate" and the fact that ebony and ivory skin tones look <em>soooo</em> good together.</li>
<li>Josh Stewart- Plays a baddie, but he's pretty adorable on "Criminal Minds."</li>
<li>Tom Conti- Made the list for sentimentality's sake. I did love "Shirley Valentine."</li>
</ol>
</div>J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-64449282064514936642012-07-23T01:06:00.002-07:002012-07-23T01:06:57.246-07:00I Feel For Black Widows<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> When I was an apartment manager in</span> Hollywood, one of my duties was to take care of safety issues around the property. And, as I discovered, one of those issues was black widow spiders. Around the pool and garden areas, specifically, UNDER THE CHAISE LOUNGES. They seemed to like the shade provided, and one chaise seemed to be the right size territory for one spider. I would go out in the mornings and quite often find a spider under every chair. I would dutifully get the Raid, and spray the life out of the creatures because it was my job, and I certainly didn't want a tenant or a pet getting hurt.<br />
I know most people cringe at the thought of spiders, especially dangerous ones, you're probably ick-ified right now just reading this, but I always felt bad. I don't mind spiders, unless they're on me, or snakes or rats or a lot of other creepy-crawlies, my disgust level is pretty high. I feel every being serves a purpose, even mosquitos, and they don't necessarily deserve to be destroyed just because they inconvenience us. A black widow can't help that she's a threat, can't help being poisonous, there's no malice in her little spider heart. She is who she is, and I have a great deal of empathy for that fact.<br />
I read an article by Amanda Marcotte about <a href="http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2012/05/14/unlike_others_who_suffer_from_neurological_disorders_psychopaths_and_their_families_get_little_sympathy_.html">psychopathy and autism</a>, and how, although both are mental diseases, they get such different treatment. I remember an interview with Jeffery Dahmer's dad, and how I felt <em>so</em> bad for the man, because he seemed just as bewildered as anyone as to how his son could possibly have turned out that way. And the soul-sinking guilt and self-recrimination he carried. When your child is a psychopath, a monster, and does something horrible, we tend to blame the parents. We blame upbringing, nurture, when we should be blaming breeding, nature.<br />
I'm not defending the actions of psychopaths, I'm not saying they don't need to be punished. They are a threat to society and, just like black widows, need to be kept away from people they can hurt. Hopefully, one day science will be able to correct whatever malfunction it is that creates psychopathy in the human mind, whatever defect that removes a person's natural empathy and compassion. Until then, we're all just swimming in the ocean, trying to avoid the sharks.</div>J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-65127379519623602642012-04-01T22:49:00.000-07:002012-04-01T22:49:29.625-07:00A Hard Winter<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I've been particularly whiny lately, self-pitying and dissatisfied. None of these are very admirable or noble traits, but in my defense, it has been a long, cold, snowy winter. Snowfall is at near-record levels <span style="font-size: x-small;">(I guess I should apologize for the mean tweet regarding the plow guy at my apartment...),</span><span style="font-size: small;"> and the season started out with seven weeks of fifteen-degree-or-less temperatures. At one point, seeing that it was snowing AGAIN made me unreasonably angry, tooth-grindingly mad.</span><br />
And this winter has been seemingly full of tragedies, large and small. A young female moose died in a friend's yard, apparently of starvation. The deep snow taxes the moose population. They starve or get hit by cars on the plowed roads. Another friend's dog of eighteen years had to be put to sleep. And, the deepest cut, Tom and Jean's son, Lucas, 25, dying in his sleep a month before he planned to move up here. A hard winter, indeed.<br />
The days are getting longer and the snow is melting, finally. Sun storm activity made the Aurora spectacular this year. Alaskan summers are really something to look forward to. But that little niggling voice in the back of my mind just whispers, "<em>What about next year?</em>"</div>J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-36833176915872010122011-08-31T02:48:00.000-07:002011-08-31T02:48:41.767-07:00Small Town Gripes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div closure_uid_x1awki="115">Returning to the town where I grew up after my mother's death seemed like a good idea at the time. When she was in the hospital in September, 2008, I was all <em>"it's so beautiful here, the air is clean and the people are friendly</em>,<em> why did I leave?"</em> After being back for two years, I TOTALLY remember why I couldn't wait to leave.</div><div closure_uid_x1awki="115">I miss the energy and anonimity of big cities. I miss the fast pace of urban life. I miss the option of refusing to return to a store when I get crappy service. When there's only one place in town to get something, then you pretty much HAVE to go there, crappy service or not. The other options are to order over the internet (and pay for shipping,) or drive a hundred and sixty miles round trip to the next, slightly larger, town (and pay for gas) neither of which is a great choice.</div><div closure_uid_x1awki="115">Having lived here for over thirty years, my mother had quite a history. She was a visible, active member of the community, ran for city council a couple of times, never failed to make her opinions known. It can be a nice thing, being known for your family, but sometimes you can just <em>feel </em>the judgment when someone finds out who your parent was. It can leave a bitter aftertaste. And did I mention seeing her ex-lovers? That can be rather embarassing, especially when some of them really have NO idea what's in good taste.</div><div closure_uid_x1awki="115">I like running into people I know, even though I've become quite masterful at the sweet-but-swift brush-off, since otherwise a fifteen minute trip to the store becomes a forty-five minute "Oh I haven't seen you in so long!" conversation. Being surrounded by people who've known you for years is great, except when it's not, when it's petty and spiteful and grudge-holding.</div><div closure_uid_x1awki="115">Small town life can be amusing. There was a letter to the editor in one of the local papers this week about the illegalities of shooting and butchering a neighbor's goat that happened to get loose. It was funny, but it also struck me as being so provincial and vaguely ridiculous.</div><div closure_uid_x1awki="115">I liked having my choice of first-run movies to see in a variety of luxe theaters, even if we rarely went. Ditto with other entertainment and dining options. Here, there is ONE theater that hasn't been updated since the 70's, showing two or three movies per week. Last time I saw a film on the big screen, I was distracted by the ratcheting of the projector and how cold the building was.</div><div closure_uid_x1awki="115">Maybe I'm being petty or short-sighted, maybe I'm spoiled or impatient, but 99% of the people I went to school with now live elsewhere. Some of them didn't go too far, a couple of really good friends live in Anchorage. Anchorage is a city, a <em>small </em>city, but a city nevertheless.</div></div>J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-26977142313294019592011-07-29T06:54:00.000-07:002011-07-29T06:54:00.444-07:00No Free Bags<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div closure_uid_1dafoj="136">I guess this would not come as a surprise to those <span style="font-size: x-small;">(wonderful, loyal)</span> few who still read my almost-nonexistant blog, but I often find my mind wandering far afield. Like the old "paper vs. plastic" debate. Pretty mundane on the surface, but rather complicated once you delve deeper. Because you have to kill trees to make paper bags, and you have to drill oil to make plastic ones. At least trees are a renewable resource. And probably the best bet is to bring your own reuseable bags to the store with you, provided you don't wash them too often, which uses water and detergent and electricity. Which brings me to the thought that that's how it used to be, you brought your own containers to carry things home in, because there were no free bags. You brought the miller your wheat, he ground it, and you carried the flour home in your own sacks. So who started giving away free bags when you purchased something at their store? I think it's a pretty enterprising thing to do, people were maybe more likely to shop there, but then, how did it become standard? And these days, it seems we're coming full-circle, with a movement by stores to stop giving away bags. Hmmm...</div></div>J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-56622397037166230212011-04-27T06:30:00.000-07:002011-04-27T06:30:01.220-07:00Lately...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I haven't been writing...like AT ALL. No journal, no blog, no memoir, pretty sad really. I have been tweeting, but only sporadically, and how much can you really accomplish in 140 characters or less? I keep promising myself <em>I'll do better, </em>but all that's proven is that I'm bad at keeping promises, even to myself. I have big ideas, but without follow through, ideas, big or small, mean nothing. <br />
I've been watching too much T.V., letting myself get lost in other people's fantasies. It's easy, which is such a trap for me. I've been doing nothing creative, and very little that's healthy. I haven't worked out since leaving California, and Alaska makes it expensive to eat well.<br />
I socialize more than I did in So Cal, there are so many people I know here and it's generally okay to drop in for a cup of coffee and a chat, but I'm not sure how productive it is. I feel the love and support, but there's no real impetus to change or be better. Also, it can be a huge time-suck.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_u-_lj7-bfhpvvsE-kKCLwK2d9gANLy6v2zojMquaciqnIEqY6JIcVMuVgueBXiJWOzkBC8_iigeWymNHfMaATzdrs13ymI3jZ_PyU1BoTTC9w6YaXf-75nKz8xYh8LMO6L3P8PIznUc/s1600/Image0059.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_u-_lj7-bfhpvvsE-kKCLwK2d9gANLy6v2zojMquaciqnIEqY6JIcVMuVgueBXiJWOzkBC8_iigeWymNHfMaATzdrs13ymI3jZ_PyU1BoTTC9w6YaXf-75nKz8xYh8LMO6L3P8PIznUc/s320/Image0059.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>I'm dealing with a beautiful but moody boy-cat who gets upset easily and likes to pee in inappropriate places, like MY BED. He's one of Mom's cats and I tried to adopt him out, unsuccessfully. He spent three months in the local shelter, which did not help at all.</div>J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-42694878079160013062011-01-10T17:38:00.000-08:002011-01-10T17:38:12.204-08:00New Year's Resolutions I Can Live With<ol><li>Drink more red wine. Two (6 oz.) glasses a day is okay.</li>
<li>Eat more healthy seafood. I kind of forgot how yummy salmon is, and fish-oil capsules give you nasty burps.</li>
<li>Ask for help when I need it. There are lots of people who love and support me, but they're not mind readers.</li>
</ol>J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-30621198211492315092010-12-20T17:17:00.000-08:002010-12-20T17:17:02.926-08:00My Unrequited Love For Katy PerryI don't know why I've developed such a thing for Ms. Perry, it kind of snuck up on me. Maybe because she started out as a Christian artist, but then decided she wanted more success and went the sexy, secular route, undoubtedly disappointing her parents. Maybe because some people trash her for this, while I find it laudable. I think Lady Gaga is a better artist and more original, but Katy makes me laugh. "California Gurls" and "Teenage Dream" just make me want to dance around in my underwear and giggle uncontrollably. I want to say she makes me feel fifteen again, but the truth is that I was too self-conscious to ever feel that free when I was fifteen, so I guess it's most accurate to say that she makes me feel how I wish I could have felt when I was a teenager, or something like that. I love that she married Russell Brand, 'cause he's wild and hot and funny, even though I don't think it will last, I hope it does. She seems more down-to-earth than Brittany, and I love that she's not conventionally gorgeous, but has a bit of character to her face. I can't wait to see how she develops as an artist, and what fascinating chaos and implosions her future might hold.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-59042987660500310362010-11-19T02:58:00.000-08:002010-11-19T02:58:22.233-08:0039,000,000Big number, huh? That's the number of sexually abused children in the U. S., according to <a href="http://www.darkness2light.org/">Darkness 2 Light</a>. Thirty-nine <em>MILLION. </em>Million. Mind BLOWN. And I'm one of them. One in six boys. One in FOUR girls. And that's just the U.S. It's really tripping me out right now, I guess because I try not to think about it much, and when I do, I minimize (<em>it could have been worse, I was actually kind of lucky...</em>). It can be a lot to deal with, and I don't think I've necessarily done a very good job of it. I'm not an addict, not a prostitute (although I did come close). There's still so much anger, so much shit that I don't know what to do with. I need to call my therapist, and maybe find a lawyer.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-15688292553501338302010-10-23T18:28:00.000-07:002010-10-23T18:28:20.631-07:00The Sound of a Single Shot<i>it echoes and echoes and echoes...</i><br />
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Sometime in the dark of the late night or early morning of October 23rd or 24th, my <a href="http://fuckedupchick.blogspot.com/2008/03/birthday-wish.html">little brother</a> ended his life. No one heard the single gunshot, or if they did, they didn't know what it meant. Dismissed it as a car back fire maybe, or wrote it off as a warning to a bear. Gunshots aren't uncommon in rural Alaska, sometimes if you hear a succession, you might wonder what the hell is going on, but people rarely call the police.<br />
He lay in the grass by the edge of the canyon for twelve or fourteen hours before Olga found him. I think of the stillness of the night, the dew settling, I can't remember if it frosted or not, not that it's really important. I feel bad for her, finding him that way, it must have been terrible and shocking. She knew him all his life, he played with her kids, she must have wondered, like all of us, <i>how could I not have known? why didn't I see?</i><br />
He shot himself in the head with a gun taken from an unlocked safe in a office. There was a note, a passed-in-class note, in which he and an unidentified friend wrote. One of the things he wrote was about shooting himself at the edge of the canyon and rolling down the steep slope, how peaceful it might be. The friend never said anything, obviously thought he was just talking, wasn't serious. So much guilt, so many unanswered questions.<br />
There were signs, <i>of course</i> there were signs!, but no one was really paying attention, including me. I spoke with him on the phone a couple of weeks before, and he didn't want to talk to me. Had to be pestered to tell me he loved me, so unlike him. I should have known then that there was something wrong, I just thought he was being a moody teenager.<br />
Fifteen years ago, that's quite a while in human terms. Time passes, life goes on, as they say. And I hope he's a part of something larger now; the wind and the grass, the earth and the rain, the dark sky and the shimmering stars that were his only witnesses that lost, lonely night.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-84113399522521400872010-10-04T17:59:00.000-07:002010-10-04T17:59:34.533-07:00More Movie Mash-Ups!<div>This is a bit ridiculous, but my highly-associative brain just kept churning these out. So far, I have a <i>hundred and twenty</i>! There's just too many to post at once, so I think I'm going to start Monday Movie Mash-Ups! And we'll see how many weeks I can keep it going. Here's a taste, you <i>know</i> you want more.... <br />
<ol><li>A female writer searches for herself around the world while Aussie students led by Francis O'Connor discuss life, love and films, and attempt to finish college.</li>
<li>A spaceship piloted by Rahda Mitchell crash lands on a freaky planet only to discover an angry black man trying to reform a wild young thing by chaining her to a radiator.</li>
<li>In a Star Trek parody, Tim Allen and his crew of T.V. has-beens help real live aliens and Neanderthal man fight their intergalactic enemies and search for a source of light and heat.</li>
<li>Three blonde sisters deal with their curmudgeonly father, while a crew of Navy misfits has to prove that they aren't losers by beating other submariners at their own game, with riotous results.</li>
<li>In this French film, Johnny Depp's baby-mama unexpectedly takes up with a knife thrower, and Japanese POW's resist and resist, but end up having to build the damn thing anyway. </li>
</ol>That's all for now. Enjoy! And check back next week... </div>J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-42109351884779158672010-09-29T07:11:00.000-07:002010-09-29T07:11:00.354-07:00Movie Mash-UpsOkay, big thanks to <a href="http://zipbagofbones.blogspot.com/">Cat</a> for the inspiration, but I'm afraid my head is going to be whirling with these for a while. For now, I'll give you the best I've come up with.<br /><ol><li>Johnny Depp befriends a boy who's mother is dying, writes a children's classic and helps a group of little lost dinosaurs reunite with their families.</li><li>A little girl discovers a belief in Santa Claus thanks to a large department store and Keanu Reeves, the only good cop in all of Los Angeles.</li><li>Four friends go for a bachelor party in Vegas, only to lose the their memories and the groom, and discover Sylvester Stallone arm-wrestling.</li><li>Brittany Murphy follows her boyfriend to Japan, where he dumps her. She learns to cook while Angelina Jolie spends time with Winona Ryder in the loony bin.</li><li>Queen Latifah changes Steve Martin's life forever as an unwelcome guest, as unwelcome as the dead bodies in Rob Zombie's timeless masterpiece.</li><li>George Clooney flies around the country firing people while Brendan Fraser, Steve Buscemi and Adam Sandler hold a radio station hostage until their demo tape is played.</li></ol><p>That's all for now. Leave me comments if you can't figure out the answers, although IMDb is wonderfully helpful.</p>J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-63162239993972054592010-09-25T17:31:00.000-07:002010-09-25T17:56:27.017-07:00The Slant of the LightIt's a gorgeous Alaskan fall day, one of the few we're likely to have, and yet I'm sitting inside, blogging. Which isn't a bad thing, just a waste of nice weather.<br />I've got a bit of a case of the <a href="http://lemongloria.blogspot.com/2010/09/fall-dreads.html">fall dreads</a>, which I think are made exponentially worse by the prospect of an Alaskan winter. Thinking about things like splitting wood, winterizing the truck, and how much plowing will cost aren't particularly fun and leave me with a chill in the pit of my stomach. Dealing with real-life issues isn't my forte, and they all cost money. Last winter was pretty mild, too much to hope that this winter will be the same.<br />NSA is in Colorado, and I could go down there too, and stay the winter. But the idea of living around his family is daunting, to put it mildly, and horrifying, to put it realistically.<br />The sun is never really high over head in Alaska, not like it is in say, Nevada, or New York, or even Wisconsin. But this time of year, the angle of the light becomes even steeper, the slant sharper, the sunshine is pale and washed out, and the threat of cold and dark and death is heavy around you.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-58359874162147266032010-09-13T16:29:00.000-07:002010-09-13T17:00:43.254-07:00Here and ThereI don't know what's going on with me lately. NSA is in Colorado with his family, who he really doesn't like very much, but his mom and dad are old, and his dad is undergoing radiation treatments for prostate cancer, so best to visit while he can and before things get <span style="font-style: italic;">veryvery</span> bad. I miss him and I'm glad he's gone at the same time.<br />I have nine, NINE!, blog postings in draft, but I can't seem to <span style="font-style: italic;">finish</span> any of them. I'm having a hard time focusing and seeing anything through to completion.<br />I want to redesign my blog, there are some cool new templates out there, but <span style="font-style: italic;">(see above.</span>)<br />September and October are bad months for me, and as as result, I think I'm especially edgy and fretful. Maybe medication is a good idea. But then there's that stupid <a href="http://www.newsweek.com/2010/01/28/the-depressing-news-about-antidepressants.html"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Newsweek</span></a> article about the inefficacy of antidepressants, and so I think, why bother?<br />Sometimes I stumble across music that I really like, but isn't very helpful, mood-wise. Blue October's "Into the Ocean" is just such a song.<br />I feel like I've been walking in a fog bank for the past couple of years. Sometimes it's very slow going and I have to feel my way along, and sometimes the sun shines through and I think everything will be okay, but what I really need is for the fog to lift.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-74223344149937492572010-06-23T05:43:00.000-07:002010-06-23T05:43:00.278-07:00Having A BawlI miss good Chinese food. I miss warm nights. I miss Fatburger. I miss <em>reallyreally</em> good thrift store shopping. I miss long drives with my husband. And I <em>MISS </em>my fucking mom, who got me into this mess in the first place.J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-56164106294296678052010-04-23T13:23:00.000-07:002010-04-23T23:02:01.495-07:00Freeform Friday: Cat World<span style="font-size:85%;">(<em>Don't you just LOVE alliteration?)</em></span><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></em><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Cat World</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></strong><br />In the eternal babyhood of cat world,<br />Where food is Love,<br />and attention is Love,<br />and affection is Love,<br />And milk flows like water<br />from the magic carton breastJ.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-10242696181378513332010-04-08T17:55:00.000-07:002010-04-08T22:09:30.507-07:00Things I Want Thursday<p>Taking a cue from <a href="http://thelifeofsass.blogspot.com/">Sass</a>, a Things I Want Thursday:</p><ol><li>A dump truck; the bigger, the better.</li><li>Six well-trained cleaners with rubber gloves, masks, and strong stomachs.</li><li>250 gallons of Febreze.</li><li>1500 heavy-duty plastic trash bags. I hope that would be enough.</li><li>Four tons of gravel, delivered.</li><li>A pair of Skechers Shape-Ups, size 7 1/2, since my current job is pretty active and I might as well work on my ass while I work.</li></ol><p>All of these (except the last) relate to my mother's house and the difficulty I'm having cleaning it out. The sorting through shit, sometimes <em>literallly, </em>gets to me and I just feel like torching the whole place. Except that I still haven't found my grandmother's ring, which Mom assured me was in there, <em>somewhere.</em> *sigh*</p>J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-19254007441573240672010-02-19T00:18:00.000-08:002010-02-19T02:51:43.316-08:00A Few Things I've Recently Learned About Myself<p>I know, I know, it's always <em>me,me,me,</em> but it <strong>is</strong> my blog, and <a href="http://29blackstreet.ca/">recipes</a>, <a href="http://lemongloria.blogspot.com/">cute baby pics </a>and directions on <a href="http://www.christinelandry.com/?cat=7">how to knit your cat a sweater </a>can be found elsewhere. So.</p><ul><li>Most of the time, I feel like a wide-eyed innocent. Except when I feel like a cynical bitch.</li><li>New music gives me a tremendous boost. Lately, it's been young female singer-songwriters, namely Regina Spektor, Feist, and Yael Naim. NSA likes to listen to ALOT of the same old shit, which gets b-o-r-i-n-g.</li><li>I enjoy splitting wood. No, that's not some clever sexual innuendo, I've found I like hefting an axe over my head and slamming the blade into a solid piece of spruce. Very cathartic, and empowering, and other words that get <em>waaaay</em> overused.</li><li>While NSA finds having three bodies buried close by somewhat disturbing, I feel comforted having most of my family members right there.</li></ul><p>That's about it for now. I do plan on posting on a more regular basis, but the best laid plans, as they say.</p>J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-56316830841925611522010-02-12T21:07:00.000-08:002010-02-13T03:44:08.078-08:00It's RAINING!Ok, a counterpoint to the global warming deniers out there, who point to the huge-ass snow dump on Washington, D. C. as evidence that the atmosphere is indeed <em>not </em>warming; it's 36 degrees and raining here currently. In ALASKA! In FEBRUARY! Do I have to point out just how fucking weird that is?? This winter has been so mild that the pavement is bare in a lot of places, when it might reasonably be expected to be coated in two inches of ice. I think that the studded tires on my truck are doing more harm than good. It's WEIRD, people, and rather worrisome. Not that I'm not enjoying it, because this kind of weather is more suited to the end of March, and it's probably saved my marriage (<span style="font-size:85%;">for now, at least</span><span style="font-size:100%;">), but warm and dry AREN'T Alaska. And I <em>like</em> polar bears, and wild salmon, even permafrost has it's advantages. If I want warm and dry, I'll move back to California.</span>J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-7525703383352071012009-12-25T06:17:00.000-08:002009-12-26T03:52:06.278-08:00Christmas!<p>First of all, to those loyal few who still read my nearly non-existant blog, Thank You! And merry, merry Christmas, if that's your persuasion. As an agnostic/paganistic/non-churchgoing person, I like holidays, just not because of some belief in a savior that was probably born in the spring anyway. Having said that, a few of my favorite Yuletide carols:</p><ul><li><strong>Santa Baby</strong>- performed by Eartha Kitt. Sexy, sultry and a little bit greedy, what's not to love?-</li><li><strong>Santa Claus is Coming to Town</strong>- performed by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. Fun, funny and lighthearted.</li><li><strong>Oh Holy Night</strong>- performed by Johnny Mathis. A classic and such a beautiful, pure voice. Mom loved Johnny.</li><li><strong>You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch</strong>- performed by Thurl Ravenscroft. I <em>love</em> the original animated Grinch, and Thurl Ravenscroft (also the voice of Tony the Tiger) delivers it perfectly.</li><li><strong>The Little Drummer Boy</strong>- performed by Bing Crosby and David Bowie. Such a wonderfully surreal moment, like a Christmas tree decorated by Andy Warhol.</li><li><strong>All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth</strong>- performed by the Count from Sesame Street. I listened to this when I was little and it still puts a smile on my face.</li><li><strong>Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24</strong>- Trans-Siberian Orchestra. I think this is a version of Carol of the Bells, and it is just so damn <em>cool</em>.</li><li><strong>Father Christmas</strong>- by the Kinks. Tough and funny, I love the street-wise sentiments.</li></ul>J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-69635480068635327762009-11-30T23:29:00.000-08:002009-11-30T23:37:20.257-08:00In Which I Discover I Have Something In Common With Vanna White?!?So I heard the end of "Wheel of Fortune" the other night while NSA was flipping channels, and for some reason he got distracted and paused on the show for a bit. It was that lag time at the end of the show when Pat and Vanna are chatting. I don't know how it came up, but Vanna was saying how she uses a manual toothbrush in the morning, but her electric toothbrush before bed. And Pat commented that that was kind of a strange thing, and I had to agree, but what got me the most was that <em>I do the exact same thing!</em>J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-85835176384951227102009-06-22T20:20:00.000-07:002009-06-22T20:34:34.601-07:00Upside & DownA few comments on unemployed cabin life:<br /><ul><li>Upside- Free rent! Down- Bills still have to be paid, which gets tricky with no income.</li><li>Upside- Wildlife ALL over the place. Down- NSA had the shit scared out of him by a baby bull moose.</li><li>Upside- Summer in Alaska. Down- The days get shorter from here on.</li><li>Upside- Quiet and private. Down- Except when Mom's "colorful" friends decide to drop by unannounced.</li><li>Upside- Freedom. Down- Without structure, I'm kind of falling on my face.</li></ul>J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-683897312631859932.post-5481502612106912602009-06-17T23:00:00.000-07:002009-06-18T14:22:13.734-07:00La Vida Rustica<em><span style="font-size:85%;">The cabin that Dave built.</span> </em><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCFF3A_t-y1dPqFUE730ZoqG-zSsypNP95DbV0M36n1TjuKv5UCYB9-3UI1CSwFH8-oyyKbFQ8IZZWscT10aIUNlOH4-zYZgQqU__z-L7442_NlNTX_z6toFU3QdZN6bXHwXoT5rmnbrk/s1600-h/DSC00436.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348545941900961874" style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; float: left; width: 200px; height: 150px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCFF3A_t-y1dPqFUE730ZoqG-zSsypNP95DbV0M36n1TjuKv5UCYB9-3UI1CSwFH8-oyyKbFQ8IZZWscT10aIUNlOH4-zYZgQqU__z-L7442_NlNTX_z6toFU3QdZN6bXHwXoT5rmnbrk/s200/DSC00436.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br />This is my current home, a 10X18 cabin with no running water, BUT, thanks to the wireless marvels of the modern age, I do enjoy access to the World Wide Web. Kinda freaky, huh?<br /><br /><em></em><br /><br /><br /><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Jezebel enjoying the view from the front window.</span></em><br /><p><em><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></em></p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheJiecKRnhcSi3K8fWbw9jrAF2diMh0yuVskc7qCgfUcRo3K3m5vUprsD46i-kA0mHv96hSkkNf0SDy4pqs13bzVkJ0lUsaDfBORkS3d8l_AcY0WYie4FLyUNa8Qzq5R9HamDjPtYsNcM/s1600-h/DSC00414.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348553142720931810" style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; float: left; width: 320px; height: 240px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheJiecKRnhcSi3K8fWbw9jrAF2diMh0yuVskc7qCgfUcRo3K3m5vUprsD46i-kA0mHv96hSkkNf0SDy4pqs13bzVkJ0lUsaDfBORkS3d8l_AcY0WYie4FLyUNa8Qzq5R9HamDjPtYsNcM/s320/DSC00414.JPG" border="0" /></a><br />The three kitties have adapted remarkably well to the rustic life, despite the lack of comfortable armchairs. As long as there's wet food and a clean box, they're happy. I wish I were as easily satisfied.<br /><br /><br /><br /><p><em><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span></em></p><em><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /><br /><br />Ms. Moose browsing in front of the same window.</span></em><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLlHW_yPSU5WfP2OQzRAlENl_658E_eL-1A_VLwbOO9hFvYblkfpsvxfu0w4hSXrHbtMDtDqobt9hLekgK61GJBE7g5b9LPLCWaA6JKpv90Cf4-4KQep_c65tcB53zBKT39lPAdCHPNTw/s1600-h/DSC00466.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348551179390750818" style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; float: left; width: 320px; height: 240px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLlHW_yPSU5WfP2OQzRAlENl_658E_eL-1A_VLwbOO9hFvYblkfpsvxfu0w4hSXrHbtMDtDqobt9hLekgK61GJBE7g5b9LPLCWaA6JKpv90Cf4-4KQep_c65tcB53zBKT39lPAdCHPNTw/s320/DSC00466.JPG" border="0" /></a>J.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07490109332475074631noreply@blogger.com6