Monday, December 31, 2007

The New Year

I want to like the new year, want to have happy anticipation of something better coming, want for things to feel fresh and new and hopeful, but really, it's just a change of the calendar. For the past few years, things have only gotten worse for my husband and I, and it's gotten really hard to feel hopeful. I keep slogging through, telling myself to breathe, just breathe, "the trick is to keep breathing" but I dread looking ahead.
In high school there was a song I really liked, liked enough to buy the album, which, considering my financial state, was a commitment. That song was "The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades" by Timbuk3. It was fun, danceable, silly. On the same album there was another song, "Life is Hard," which was pessimistic and vaguely bitter, definitely more realistic. At the time, I didn't like it much, but I appreciate it more now.

Betty's in a wet T-shirt, feeling foolish and vain
looking like some housecat, that got caught out in the rain
Staring into the mirror, at this less-than-pretty picture
feeling ten years older now, and fifty bucks richer

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