Monday, September 15, 2008
My boss was giving me a hard time about taking a fucking week off to go see my dying mother. This is even though I have weeks of vacation time accrued, not to mention over a week of sick leave and a couple of personal days too. I know I didn't ask for the time off the requisite month in advance, but I think this qualifies as a personal emergency and FUCK the rules, help me out here, like I do when you come to me with a project that must be taken care of immediately. She did come through, I just had to toss and turn for a night first.
NSA is sorry he went out to Colorado, it hasn't been great for his health and most of his family are wallet-draining vampires, but he's been able to see his father and spend some time with his mom, so it's not a total waste of time and money. And I've discovered some things too, like, you know how sometimes in a relationship, one person loves and cares more about the other person? Not that they don't love each other, but that it's not exactly equal. That was how I felt about NSA, like he loved me a little bit more than I loved him. Not any more. I took him for granted, which was childish and selfish, and I love and miss him deeply. It's like losing a leg, I'm functional, but hobbled and hurting without him. I'm glad I understand that now.
So Thursday, I'm off to the wilds of Alaska to see my mom, probably for the last time, with my very expensive plane ticket (but isn't that what plastic is for?) I'll take pictures, and maybe even post them, so you can see where I come from. And that might explain a lot.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Palin reminds me of all of the things I dislike about Alaska, when there's so much to love. She's narrow-minded and convinced she's RIGHT, no matter what. She has good qualities, but somehow, they end up wrong, like wanting to protect her family. She looks at the wonderful bounty around her, because Alaska IS huge and lovely and bountiful, and fails to realize that much of the rest of the world isn't that way. So much of the world is desperate and impoverished and simply trying to survive. An example; while most Americans received an economic stimulus check of $600.00 this year to help offset gas prices, residents of the state of Alaska will receive over $3000.00 for each man, woman and child (yes, that's over three thousand dollars per person)(or, for a family of four, a down payment on a house) in addition to the paltry six hundred bucks that most Americans got from the Federal government. This is thanks to the PFD (permanent fund dividend), which was set up by some enterprising public servant by way of sharing oil royalties with the Alaskan general populace. And oil prices have been high this year, so boo-yah!! I guess what I'm saying is that Palin's perspective is limited. Alaska is a small, rich state (much like Beverly Hills), and I don't understand why someone from Missouri or Oklahoma would want a privileged white woman (despite the "hockey mom" status) dictating (at least in part) how the country is run.
Ike is headed for Texas, where he's pretty much sure to cause a lot of harm. Scientific research has shown that human beings are responsible for the factors that cause hurricanes to be more powerful (despite what the Bush administration would like us to believe), and so I say, how many lives and how much property must be lost before we wise up and realize that we control our fate, that we are the captains of our destiny? We are one of the few thinking animals on Earth, we are obligated to take care of it, even the Bible says that we are the stewards of this magnificent creation. And yet we treat our only home like a frat house. Fuck the plumbing, fuck the rottting floorboards, we are here to par-tay! The next residents (i.e., our children and grandchildren) can pay the price.
Wow!! Drunk blogging is seriously hard! A bottle of wine later and my typing skills are shit, I find myself backspacing a lot. I'm going to go ahead and put this ramble out there, although I might seriously regret it later. (Can someone tell me, does The Birdhouse still exist, or did the owners not rebuild after the most recent time it burned?)
Friday, September 12, 2008
NSA and I are in a trial separation. He's in Colorado visiting his family, trying to spend time with his father, who has prostate cancer. His dad, however, is not inclined to see much of his family, since mostly they want his money and don't have much regard for him. NSA couldn't give a shit about his dad's money, he's just interested in spending time with the old man before he dies. He's being tarred with the same brush as the rest of his siblings though, and his father's new wife is playing dragon at the gate and keeping everyone away. NSA is understandably pissed off and frustrated. It took a lot out of him just to get to Colorado, and he doesn't particularly enjoy living with the bitching, petty jealousies, and infighting that make up his familial interactions. On the plus side, comparatively, life with me in SoCal now doesn't seem so bad.
My mother is in the hospital dealing with the symptoms of her cancer. She's had to have fluid removed from her right lung again, and she's in a considerable amount of pain. She's to the point where she'll consider surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, but, according to her doctor, it's probably too late. Probably just a matter of months, weeks maybe. The cancer has metastasized to her lung and possibly her bones as well. So I'm trying to plan what will most likely be my last trip to see my mother alive. Thank you sir, may I have another?
I'm trying to practice the survival techniques you're taught for bad situations, like avalanches. Things like, don't panic, remain calm, assess the situation. But I feel like my air is running out and I'm afraid help won't arrive in time.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
- Staying up waaay too late watching TV.
- Said TV consists of Ninja Warrior, Skins and Unbeatable Banzuke. (I don't think the target demographic for any of these shows is working women over thirty.)
- Sitting for hours in front my computer, watching videos on YouTube and searching for music.
- Eating mostly crap, including frozen dinners, Reser's Potato Salad, week-old pizza, chips, and drinking margaritas straight from the bottle. (I haven't started guzzling Mountain Dew yet, but if my computer time keeps going up, I probably will.)
- Sleeping on sheets that haven't been washed in a month.
- Texting with a cute girl who wanted to know how I am and what I'm doing.
- And, tonight I had to remind myself three times that the trash needed to go out! Sheesh, kids these days.
Of course, if I were really turning into a teenage boy, then I would probably be watching a lot more porn, and playing with my breasts.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Last week I encountered no less than three people going the wrong way on one-way streets. This isn't really a big deal on my scooter, since the streets aren't that tight, but it's still kind of amazing. One was a guy on a red motorcyle who looked like he really didn't give a damn, maybe he's a cop's kid or something. Hell, maybe he's a cop. Next was a Hispanic guy in a work truck looking confused and anxious. Last was a small woman in a large SUV who still gave me attitude even after she knew she was in the wrong, like it's worth risking someone's life because you weren't paying attention.
Here's a news flash: If you want people to use public transportation, it has to be reliable. And don't tell me it can't be done, especially in SoCal, when weather is almost never a factor. I hate seeing billboards and PSAs encouraging the use of a system that is SHIT. I mean, it is a severe annoyance when buses are supposed to run every fifteen minutes, and you wait for half an hour only to have TWO of the same bus arrive simultaneously. Other cities and countries somehow manage to have decent public transportation, why can't we?
Strawberries are finally down to a decent price. They're grown ten miles from here, so why have they been $3.99 a quart for most of the summer? That's what I'd expect to pay in winter.
At McDonald's a few days ago, this lady with a deeply Southern accent almost made me laugh out loud when she asked for a glass of "ass-water." Well, it was actually more like "ahhss-water," but still, brought to mind all sorts of unpleasant images.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
I cocktailed there for two and a half seasons. The money was good, the atmosphere was wicked fun, and the club was closed January through March. Alaska, besides being a wealthy state, has a lot of typically seasonal work (timber, fishing, tourism) and so the unemployment laws are pretty liberal, I collected unemployment while the club was closed ('Keys usually spent some time in Hawaii during those dreary winter months.)
The shows were pretty good, funny, but after three or four months of seeing the same routines, they did get a bit monotonous for the staff. However, you could work in costume if you liked, so there were ways to liven things up. 'Keys routinely poked fun at tourists and typically Alaskan stuff; fishing, slow RVs, wildlife encounters and wild assumptions. He LOVED election years for their goldmine of material. He would have had an absolute heyday with Sarah Palin's VP nomination and Don Young's corruption indictment, and he would have pulled no punches in being wickedly funny about both Bristol's name and her pregnancy.
I had a lot of fun times at that club, Cadillac margaritas and double shots of Patron for staff after hours. There's nothing quite like emerging from a club, half-drunk, with a bunch of cash in your pocket, into the eerily early dawn of an Alaskan morning. Jesus, I miss that feeling.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
(Check back later in the week when I might have something more interesting to say. No guarantees though.)