Lately...

I haven't been writing...like AT ALL. No journal, no blog, no memoir, pretty sad really. I have been tweeting, but only sporadically, and how much can you really accomplish in 140 characters or less? I keep promising myself I'll do better, but all that's proven is that I'm bad at keeping promises, even to myself. I have big ideas, but without follow through, ideas, big or small, mean nothing.
I've been watching too much T.V., letting myself get lost in other people's fantasies. It's easy, which is such a trap for me. I've been doing nothing creative, and very little that's healthy. I haven't worked out since leaving California, and Alaska makes it expensive to eat well.
I socialize more than I did in So Cal, there are so many people I know here and it's generally okay to drop in for a cup of coffee and a chat, but I'm not sure how productive it is. I feel the love and support, but there's no real impetus to change or be better. Also, it can be a huge time-suck.

I'm dealing with a beautiful but moody boy-cat who gets upset easily and likes to pee in inappropriate places, like MY BED. He's one of Mom's cats and I tried to adopt him out, unsuccessfully. He spent three months in the local shelter, which did not help at all.

In Which I Discover I Have Something In Common With Vanna White?!?

So I heard the end of "Wheel of Fortune" the other night while NSA was flipping channels, and for some reason he got distracted and paused on the show for a bit. It was that lag time at the end of the show when Pat and Vanna are chatting. I don't know how it came up, but Vanna was saying how she uses a manual toothbrush in the morning, but her electric toothbrush before bed. And Pat commented that that was kind of a strange thing, and I had to agree, but what got me the most was that I do the exact same thing!

Complaint #37,184

It seems like my favorite T.V. shows inevitably get cancelled. Yeah, yeah, I know, totally first-world problem, and while there is so much else I could be thinking or blogging about, this has been on my mind. Because I reallyreally liked Pushing Daisies, it was sweet and whimsical with touches of black humor, and the visual style was bold and unique, probably more akin to children's programming than shows aimed at a higher age demographic (and I wonder what that says about me...). It wasn't all great, the circus episode was stoo-pid, but there are lines that I will be quoting for years to come. Chi McBride, as the acerbic P.I., Emerson Cod- (patting pockets) "Now, where's that rat's ass I could give?"
And it's not just Pushing Daisies, it's it's like, you know..., and Undeclared, and Significant Others. It's Titus, Dead Like Me, and The Comeback. It's that my tastes often don't seem to match those of the general public, which probably isn't a bad thing, but does get disappointing. Disappointing because crap like Survivor is a huge hit and goes on for years and years, while Firefly lasts a mere fifteen episodes. Oh well, I can always take refuge in the endless syndication of Law & Order.

Celebrity Encounters I

• Nicky Katt- Staying at the Avalon in Beverly Hills with his dog. He was fine until he tried to bring the dog into the restaurant. When the manager politely told him that only service animals were allowed on the premises, Nicky got all, "Don't you know who I am???" at which point the manager said, "I don't care who you are, you can't bring your dog in here." Which is what happens when C-list actors with overgrown egos try and (unsuccessfully) cop celebrity 'tude.
• Ron Perlman- Used to work out at the same gym as him. He always wiped down his equipment, and he is built. Worked up to a smile and a friendly "hello," but always felt fluttery because before he was Hellboy, he was Vincent, the lion/human hybrid with that voice, from Beauty and the Beast. The stuff of my teenage romantic fantasies. Maybe it would be gratifying for him to know that he weakens the knees of at least one thirtysomething woman, and not all of his fans are comic book geeks.
• Alecia Silverstone- Looking rather strung-out one Sunday morning at the Hollywood Farmer's Market. Which is a great place for celebrity-spotting, btw. Also seen there:
• Sandra Oh- Head down and walking very fast, possibly escaping.
• Mena Suvari- Stunning in a gorgeous red dress, with her surprisingly short, but very cute, husband. Appeared very gracious while posing for pictures and signing autographs.
• John Salley- of the L.A. Lakers, head and shoulders above the crowd, but still smiling while surrounded by people. I wouldn't have recognized him except for his very funny appearance on Martin Short's Jiminy Glick.

Hmmm, maybe I should have saved this for abdpbt's "Listlessness Mondays." Oh well, there's always more to tell.

Help Me Decide

Ok, so fairly lighthearted and pretty trivial in all actuality, but I need some help with my ballot for the Screen Actor's Guild awards. See, I haven't seen any of the nominated movies (really!), that's how lame last year was, and while I only watch a few of the TV shows, my favorites will be getting my vote. So, go here if you'd like to see the nominees, and tell me who you would vote for and why. If I like your response, I might vote that way. Be a part of the SAG awards!! Influence history!! If only in the tiniest, most insignificant way. Have your responses in by the end of the week, since the ballots have to be received by January 23rd.
(I will say that the people promoting Heath Ledger and The Dark Knight sent me a free DVD screener, so that might influence me too, but only maybe, since I haven't watched it yet.)

"It's Alright To Cry,

crying gets the sad out of you. It's alright to cry, it might make you feel better." From the '70's animated musical Free To Be...You & Me, featuring Marlo Thomas, Mel Brooks and Alan Alda (who my mother completely adored.) A friend of mine had the record and book, so we spent a lot of time singing along. My favorite part was the exchange about gender roles between the baby boy and baby girl when Mel Brooks exclaims, "A cocktail waitress!"
I guess I thought of these lines for the obvious reason, I've been crying a lot lately. This morning I was bawling and called in to work a couple of hours late because it's my fifteenth wedding anniversary, and Halloween, and while I'd like to go out and do something fun, I just don't have the heart. I feel like curling up under the covers with a couple cases of hard liquor and not emerging until I feel better, which might be a while. Right now, I'm thinking vodka, tequila, and maybe a decent Scotch, just for variety.
Of course, I'm still hurting from my mom's death, and the legal/financial mess she left behind. And the problems NSA and I have been having don't help. And the fact that I really dislike my job, but the economy's not doing so well and I'm afraid to quit. Fuck.

I Am Turning Into A Teenage Boy

During the past three days, I've started to question my gender identification. I'm definitely engaging in behaviors not typical of a thirty-something woman. Such behaviors are:

• Staying up waaay too late watching TV.
• Said TV consists of Ninja Warrior, Skins and Unbeatable Banzuke. (I don't think the target demographic for any of these shows is working women over thirty.)
• Sitting for hours in front my computer, watching videos on YouTube and searching for music.
• Eating mostly crap, including frozen dinners, Reser's Potato Salad, week-old pizza, chips, and drinking margaritas straight from the bottle. (I haven't started guzzling Mountain Dew yet, but if my computer time keeps going up, I probably will.)
• Sleeping on sheets that haven't been washed in a month.
• Texting with a cute girl who wanted to know how I am and what I'm doing.
• And, tonight I had to remind myself three times that the trash needed to go out! Sheesh, kids these days.

Of course, if I were really turning into a teenage boy, then I would probably be watching a lot more porn, and playing with my breasts.

Feelin' Pervy

So I was watching Skins on BBC America last night, a fun, sexy teen fantasy that I'm sure was written by a bunch of thirty-somethings looking back on their high school years thinking, "If I'd known then what I know now, I would have been so much cooler!" It had that sort of unrealistic tone to it, but it wasn't pretentious, just fun and a little ridiculous.
The lead, Nicholas Hoult, being an attractive young man, caught my attention. Sure, I thought, he's a bit young, but boys grow up. And I thought he looked familiar, although I couldn't immediately place him. Apparently, my subconscious went to work, because this morning I woke up going "He's the kid from About A Boy! I'm old enough to be his mother!" (A teen mother, but still, quite a bit older than him.) Ewwww. I felt slightly creepy, lusting after someone younger than my stepson, but hey, with the whole MILF and "cougar" thing going on, I know I'm not the only one.

Random Friday

I hate it when guys I don't know call me "honey" or "sweetie," it seems presumptuous and just bugs me, but I don't mind it when women do the same thing, especially if they're older and have that kind of whiskey-and-cigarettes voice. Then I think it's kind of cute.
Jerry Orbach is my all-time favorite movie dad, I loved his character in Dirty Dancing. It was pretty heartbreaking when he left Law & Order, and then died.
My tadpoles aren't doing well, there's only one left. And even though I was forewarned that they're hard to raise, it still makes me a little sad.
Speaking of Dirty Dancing, Jennifer Grey was in a short-lived sitcom about L.A. called it's like, you know, that I really enjoyed. But she had such radical rhinoplasty that she really didn't look like herself any more. She didn't look bad, but I think her nose was kind of her signature, and after that, her career didn't seem the same.
I miss going out dancing with NSA a lot. We used to go out clubbing at least a couple of times a month. I miss not dressing up in fabulous clothes and shaking my ass in a gorgeous place with fun people; staying in on Friday nights makes me feel old and boring.

Peter Scolari Syndrome

What, you might ask, is Peter Scolari Syndrome (PSS)? Good question. You might recognize the name, particularly if you're a fan of Bob Newhart. But maybe not, not in the way you recognize, say, Tom Hanks, who is a cultural icon on par with Jimmy Stewart. And that's where PSS comes in, since once upon a time in the early '80s, these two young actors starred in a sitcom together. Neither of them had much success before the show, and both of them have had acting careers. It's just that in 1993, Tom Hanks had his Oscar-winning role in Philadelphia, while Peter Scolari starred in Infected (also titled Ticks, a horror movie about, you guessed it, mutant ticks). I'm not dissing Peter, he's spent his adult life acting, which in itself is an amazing achievement, but you gotta wonder how he feels about Tom. Is he resentful, envious, a tad bitter, or is he just grateful that he's been able to spend his time doing what he loves? He appeared in That Thing You Do!, which was written and directed by Tom, so his resentment (if there is any) doesn't likely run too deep, but I think it must rankle him at least a little, to look back and think, Why him? Is he that much better than me? And I wonder if he blames his height, his mother, his first acting coach, or maybe just dumb luck.

What Did She Do To Her FACE!?!!

OMG!! I'm not a huge Lara Flynn Boyle fan, she's always been too thin for my taste and her and Jack Nicholson as a couple creeped me out, but I have watched Law & Order for as long as it's been on the air (since the George Dzundza days). So I recorded Wednesday's episode (I love, love, love DVR!!) and watched it last night. She was listed in the credits, but at first, I didn't recognize her! My first thought was, "Was she in some horrible accident?" I mean, I understand cosmetic surgery, there are a few procedures I'd have myself (do you hear me, hips?), and I don't blame celebrities for getting work done, but HOLY FUCK! How much pressure did this woman feel to end up looking like that?
It looks like she got collagen in her lips. Okay, not great, "trout pout" is pretty common, everybody wants Angelina's mouth. But she had the lines between her mouth and nose (interlabial lines) completely erased, which is totally unnatural and freakish looking. It also looks like she had fat injections or possibly implants in her cheeks, and her forehead is suspiciously wrinkle-free. I was distracted just watching her puffy immobility. She looked completely artificial, I cringed every time her face was on screen.
I'll admit, I like speculating on who's had what work done, I love "before and after" articles, I love people like Joan Rivers who can make fun of themselves for all the plastic surgery they've had, but it's sad and scary when a relatively young, successful, beautiful woman feels so desperate and insecure that she subjects herself to multiple operations chasing some phantom ideal.
Cosmetic surgery done well should leave everybody guessing, did she or didn't she?, and I adore George Clooney for admitting having his eyes done, but unless you're into radical body modification, your surgeon or someone close to you should counsel moderation.

I love T. F.!!

OMG!! Why did I wait so long to get into 30 Rock?? I heard good things about it, had eight episodes saved on the DVR, and yet never watched them. I watched four episodes last night and laughed my ass off! Alec Baldwin channeling Redd Foxx almost made me pee my pants, and Tina Fey breaking the fourth wall to ask "Can we have our money now?" was fuckin' hilarious!! It was just what I needed for a somewhat sucky Valentine's. Now I'm trying to figure out if I want to watch the episodes I've missed online, or if I can get them through Netflix. I guess I can thank the writer's strike for forcing me to investigate new shows. I guess I'll also have to give Baby Mama a chance.