From Brain Candy, regarding a popular new head-med, spoken by a cabbie with an Armenian accent: "You know, it's made from monkey cum."
Also from Brain Candy: "Where's your father?" "Upstairs masturbating to gay porn again."
From The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. A transvestite is petting a codger's dog. "What's your dog's name?" "Herpes, 'cause if she's good, she'll heel."