Oscar, Oscar

So I didn't watch the show last night, mostly because award shows are b-o-r-i-n-g, but also because it stings a bit to watch something you wanted to be a part of. And I don't mean in an abstract, "wouldn't it be cool..." way, but in a sincere, "might have had a chance..." way. Put it like this, I'm pretty sure one day I'll see people I know on the red carpet, and if circumstances had been a little different, it could have been me. Envy is a horrible emotion (sigh).
Anyway, I'm offering my critique on Oscar fashions because I often disagree with the fashionistas, and because I don't feel qualified to comment on the awards themselves having not seen any of the nominated (apart from Viggo's performance in Eastern Promises.)

Jessica Alba- I thought her flowy, purple number was gorgeous, very flattering for a pregnant person, and I liked the feather detail on the bosom. I also really liked her loose French-braid hairstyle.

Penelope Cruz- There was a lot of black this year, and while I liked her black feathery thing, last year's pink feathery thing was much prettier as well as being a bolder choice.

Renee Zellweger- What a sexy, sparkly gown! I loved the glittery stripes, the slit-to-there and the wicked shoes to go with. Just wish she didn't look so bone-thin, though.

Tilda Swinton- I LOVE Tilda! She is an amazing actress as well as a uniquely stunning person. Who else could pull off a performance piece called "Metamorphosis" that involved her sleeping on a mattress eight hours a day? That said, she needs some serious style advice. I loved the silver cuff, but a pale redhead dressed in black needs some OOMPH! otherwise she ends up looking like a statuesque vampire, and not in a good way. Maybe she should have taken that look further, kohl-rimmed eyes, ruby-red lips, instead of ending up washed out and deeply blah. Oh well, she didn't win the Oscar because of her fashion sense.

Cameron Diaz- What can I say? I like pink, but didn't she wear almost the exact same thing last year? With the same bad results. Droopy hair, wrapped-in-crepe gown; please, Cameron, pay for someone else's opinion.

Amy Adams- Now there's a redhead who knows what works for her, emerald-green elegance. And her little gold bag was the perfect accessory, even if there was nothing in it.

Ellen Page- Geez, girl, you're 21 and beautiful!! Why wear such a boring, dumpy dress? Were you playing it safe, or did you just listen to some bad advice? Here's a tip: next time, fail spectacularly, go for the leopard print like Diablo Cody did, make people talk, not just ugh.

Diablo Cody- Here's a woman after my own heart, a successful ex-stripper who didn't seem to give a damn if she made the best- or worst-dressed lists, as long as she made one of them. And, boy, did she ever. It pleases me greatly that she won the Ocsar too.

Marion Cotillard- Now there's a gorgeous young lady who took a chance that paid off. The sexy mermaid dress was different, and her loose, wavy hair went with it perfectly.

I really loved the proliferation of red on the carpet. Katherine Heigl, Heidi Klum and Helen Mirren carried it off beautifully (although I didn't care for Heidi's dark pink accessories), while Anne Hathaway's fake roses left me cold and Julie Christie spoiled her look with badly-chosen accessories.