Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Things I Don't Talk About

People blog for various reasons. I love people like this, who try to tell you what you should write about, like there are some hard and fast rules to blogging (I particularly like #3, I mean, Heather Armstrong is only one of the most successful bloggers ever, and she mostly talks about herself, her kid, and her dogs.) Some people blog to make money, but personally, I think that proposition is sort of like those "make millions at home in your spare time!" deals; someone, somewhere is doing it, but probably not you or anyone you know. A lot of people blog as a way to keep in touch with family and friends; pictures of the little ones and the latest vacation, faster, easier and more economical than letters. (Does anyone even write letters any more??)
I blog for purely selfish reasons, to get things off my chest, to share my opinions, 'cause doesn't everyone want to know what I think? I write about things that I can't or don't feel comfortable discussing with family and co-workers. Seriously, I keep it waaay anonymous because some shit would definitely get me fired. I share more because of the anonymity factor. I write about things that are very personal, but in a sort of impersonal way because I don't want to reveal too many identifying details. Having said that, here are some things I've been avoiding writing about, for one reason or another:
-I think NSA and I are splitting up, after nearly eighteen years together. A lot of it has to do with his health, and my often poor reaction to it, but it also has to do with mistakes made in the past that are much more meaningful now that he is disabled. I'm horribly regretful and guilty, hopeful that a trial separation will give time to mend, but also kind of relieved.
-Details of my sex life, past and present. Even though there are some really juicy stories there, maybe someday I'll fictionalize them, it seems a bit tawdry and pornographic to share. Yes, I used to dance naked for a living, but some things are just personal.
-Much of my childhood. I think I'm saving most of my past for my autobiography, and although I've had the impulse to tell more in my blog, I've stifled it because leaving out pertinent details to maintain my anonymity makes it kind of generic. The details provide richness and authenticity, so anonymous=bland.


Susan said...

hey J,
We're thinking about you way up here in Nova Scotia, up here where it's cloudy some of the time. Hugs & love, S, Winn & Les Chats.

I hope you're working on your memoir. I'm sure writing it could be very therapeutic ... as writing often seems to be.

Lisa said...

You always keep us guessing.

I am sorry about your split with your husband. Have you given any thought to adding a private blog?

Melliferous Pants said...

I'm sorry to hear about you and NSA. And I understand what you're saying about anonymity. I've recently started to more freely post personal details about myself (er, damaging pictures and such)...which only took me 3 years to warm up to. :-)

Wanna hear something bizarre? I still handwrite and mail letters. Like with stamps! I love cute/kitschy stationary and there are a lot of adorable free printables online. Receiving mail that isn't bills or junk (just another word for junk!) is the best.

do you think you have it? said...

before I even finish reading this post I have to say that I clicked that first link, the one to the asshole? Where do these people GET this shit? Oh, how I loath the "Intellectual".

do you think you have it? said...

Now that I read the rest (lol)... I also strive to keep my anonymous, and fear that I've given away too many things as it is. I disagree with the last part. I don't think your blog is bland in the least.