A Comprehensive List Of Actors From "The Dark Knight Rises" That I Would Totally Do

1. Christian Bale- Panty dropper!! I'd even forgive him that unbelievably annoying voice.
2. Joseph Gordon-Levitt- Not a "3rd Rock" fan, but after "The Lookout" he really brought out my inner cougar.
3. Tom Hardy- Oh yessss...that mouth is reason enough, but I'd also like to touch that body he so lovingly and thoroughly transformed.
4. Michael Caine- I know he's, ahem, older but he's MICHAEL CAINE! 'Nuff said.
5. Gary Oldman- From "Sid & Nancy" to "Romeo Is Bleeding," "Immortal Beloved" to "The Fifth Element," major talent. And talent is a wicked turn-on.
6. Burn Gorman- Looking a little odd lately, but "Torchwood" alone earns him a spot.
7. Morgan Freeman- Again, AMAZING talent. And I'll bet he's a fantastic kisser.
8. Liam Neeson- Well, duh. Can imagine being held against the tall, lean length of him...
9. Daniel Sunjata- Does Christopher Nolan have a thing for guys with hot mouths?
10. Cillian Murphy- Those gorgeous eyes and "28 Days Later." Also, he plays evil pretty well and I'll bet he has a great imagination.
11. Christopher Judge- Again with the sexy mouth. "Stargate" and the fact that ebony and ivory skin tones look soooo good together.
12. Josh Stewart- Plays a baddie, but he's pretty adorable on "Criminal Minds."
13. Tom Conti- Made the list for sentimentality's sake. I did love "Shirley Valentine."

New Year's Resolutions I Can Live With

1. Drink more red wine.  Two (6 oz.) glasses a day is okay.
2. Eat more healthy seafood.  I kind of forgot how yummy salmon is, and fish-oil capsules give you nasty burps.
3. Ask for help when I need it.  There are lots of people who love and support me, but they're not mind readers.

Movie Mash-Ups

Okay, big thanks to Cat for the inspiration, but I'm afraid my head is going to be whirling with these for a while. For now, I'll give you the best I've come up with.

1. Johnny Depp befriends a boy who's mother is dying, writes a children's classic and helps a group of little lost dinosaurs reunite with their families.
2. A little girl discovers a belief in Santa Claus thanks to a large department store and Keanu Reeves, the only good cop in all of Los Angeles.
3. Four friends go for a bachelor party in Vegas, only to lose the their memories and the groom, and discover Sylvester Stallone arm-wrestling.
4. Brittany Murphy follows her boyfriend to Japan, where he dumps her. She learns to cook while Angelina Jolie spends time with Winona Ryder in the loony bin.
5. Queen Latifah changes Steve Martin's life forever as an unwelcome guest, as unwelcome as the dead bodies in Rob Zombie's timeless masterpiece.
6. George Clooney flies around the country firing people while Brendan Fraser, Steve Buscemi and Adam Sandler hold a radio station hostage until their demo tape is played.

That's all for now. Leave me comments if you can't figure out the answers, although IMDb is wonderfully helpful.

Things I Want Thursday

Taking a cue from Sass, a Things I Want Thursday:

1. A dump truck; the bigger, the better.
2. Six well-trained cleaners with rubber gloves, masks, and strong stomachs.
3. 250 gallons of Febreze.
4. 1500 heavy-duty plastic trash bags. I hope that would be enough.
5. Four tons of gravel, delivered.
6. A pair of Skechers Shape-Ups, size 7 1/2, since my current job is pretty active and I might as well work on my ass while I work.

All of these (except the last) relate to my mother's house and the difficulty I'm having cleaning it out. The sorting through shit, sometimes literallly, gets to me and I just feel like torching the whole place. Except that I still haven't found my grandmother's ring, which Mom assured me was in there, somewhere. *sigh*

A Few Things I've Recently Learned About Myself

I know, I know, it's always me,me,me, but it is my blog, and recipes, cute baby pics and directions on how to knit your cat a sweater can be found elsewhere. So.

• Most of the time, I feel like a wide-eyed innocent. Except when I feel like a cynical bitch.
• New music gives me a tremendous boost. Lately, it's been young female singer-songwriters, namely Regina Spektor, Feist, and Yael Naim. NSA likes to listen to ALOT of the same old shit, which gets b-o-r-i-n-g.
• I enjoy splitting wood. No, that's not some clever sexual innuendo, I've found I like hefting an axe over my head and slamming the blade into a solid piece of spruce. Very cathartic, and empowering, and other words that get waaaay overused.
• While NSA finds having three bodies buried close by somewhat disturbing, I feel comforted having most of my family members right there.

That's about it for now. I do plan on posting on a more regular basis, but the best laid plans, as they say.

Christmas!

First of all, to those loyal few who still read my nearly non-existant blog, Thank You! And merry, merry Christmas, if that's your persuasion. As an agnostic/paganistic/non-churchgoing person, I like holidays, just not because of some belief in a savior that was probably born in the spring anyway. Having said that, a few of my favorite Yuletide carols:

• Santa Baby- performed by Eartha Kitt. Sexy, sultry and a little bit greedy, what's not to love?-
• Santa Claus is Coming to Town- performed by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. Fun, funny and lighthearted.
• Oh Holy Night- performed by Johnny Mathis. A classic and such a beautiful, pure voice. Mom loved Johnny.
• You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch- performed by Thurl Ravenscroft. I love the original animated Grinch, and Thurl Ravenscroft (also the voice of Tony the Tiger) delivers it perfectly.
• The Little Drummer Boy- performed by Bing Crosby and David Bowie. Such a wonderfully surreal moment, like a Christmas tree decorated by Andy Warhol.
• All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth- performed by the Count from Sesame Street. I listened to this when I was little and it still puts a smile on my face.
• Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24- Trans-Siberian Orchestra. I think this is a version of Carol of the Bells, and it is just so damn cool.
• Father Christmas- by the Kinks. Tough and funny, I love the street-wise sentiments.

Upside & Down

A few comments on unemployed cabin life:

• Upside- Free rent! Down- Bills still have to be paid, which gets tricky with no income.
• Upside- Wildlife ALL over the place. Down- NSA had the shit scared out of him by a baby bull moose.
• Upside- Summer in Alaska. Down- The days get shorter from here on.
• Upside- Quiet and private. Down- Except when Mom's "colorful" friends decide to drop by unannounced.
• Upside- Freedom. Down- Without structure, I'm kind of falling on my face.

Two Things That Make Life Without Running Water Slightly More Bearable

• Baby wipes
• Hand sanitizer
  

Reasons I'm Glad I'm Going To Alaska

1. Although there are mosquitoes by the ton and Mom's place is infested with mice, no West Nile virus and no Hantavirus.
2. Clean air and clean water.
3. Eighteen hours of daylight.
4. Homegrown potatoes, peas, tomatoes, carrots, cauliflower, gooseberries and raspberries.
5. People who've loved me almost my entire life.

5 Things I'll Miss About SoCal

1. The weather (duh!). I love open-toed and peep-toe shoes. I like cute skirts and bare legs. Sunshine is an instant pick-me-up. So I'm thinking maybe just the summer in Alaska, then somewhere else for winter.
2. Trader Joe's. Only the best grocery store ever! Unless you want name-brands, but you can get those anywhere. Two-Buck Chuck Merlot, I already mourn for you.
3. My scooter. I just can't think of a decent, economical way to transport my baby bike, and storing it wouldn't be practical. I'm sure I'll own another one day, but it really stings for now. The ride up Laurel Canyon Blvd. is one of the best things about L.A.
4. Chipotle. I love their food so much, I'm looking in to opening an Alaskan franchise. Seriously.
5. Hummingbirds. These cool little creatures abound around here, I see them all the time. I just don't remember them being very plentiful in Alaska.

I'm looking forward to moving, but change is scary, and while I haven't been exactly happy in Southern California (at least not in a while), I did have some really good times here.

Three 80's Songs and Their Specific Meaning To Me

I'm dedicating this post to Lisa, because I've been reading through her archives and she's brought up some very good memories that I don't want to forget to share. Because that's what ends up happening. I have really, really good ideas for a post, and if I don't write them down, they disappear forever, or sometimes resurface when that part of my brain gets jarred. Anyway, a few music-related memories.

1. Relax- Frankie Goes To Hollywood- I first heard this overtly naughty, incredibly danceable song at a campground in Masseret, France. We spent part of the summer there, and I befriended several girls around my age. I loved feeling exotic simply because I was American. On one of our last evenings, a DJ in a van showed up and parked next to the covered picnic area. I don't remember what else he played that night, but I remember the group of us dancing to this song, the horrible fluorescent lighting above the ugly concrete, and having the prescient/poignant feeling that this was a moment I'd remember always. And it is.
2. Here Comes The Rain Again- The Eurythmics- I was standing by the bar of Bob's Youth Hostel in Amsterdam when the woman behind the counter put this song on. I was absolutely mesmerized. I begged her to play it again, and she said she would later, then never did. I made sure I got the band's name, and when we got back to the States, I bought Touch, on vinyl.
3. Wouldn't It Be Good- Nik Kershaw- A Danish girl named Marina played this for me in her bedroom. We were visiting a boyfriend of Mom's in the country outside of Dragor, Denmark. Marina was stunned that I hadn't heard it before, but I explained that Alaska was pretty remote, isolated from just about everything. She wanted to visit Alaska, but, to my knowledge, never did. I couldn't find any Nik Kershaw at the local record shop, but I was thrilled a couple of years later when Pretty In Pink came out, and bought the soundtrack specifically for this song.

Tagged Again

I was tagged by Lisa at The Loony Bin for a "six things" meme, which I've done before (or maybe it was seven things? I forget...), but I thought I'd do it again, since if there's one thing I love to talk about, it's myself.

1. I once spent a rainy day in Paris watching classic American movies. They were Forever Amber, River of No Return, Laura and Carmen Jones. Now that I look at this list, I realize it was an Otto Preminger tribute. It was kind of a surreal experience, Mom and Edward and I camped out in a gold velour theater. Mom left once to get sandwiches, but no one kicked us out, so we stayed.
2. People who repeatedly flog you with how cool they are because of their taste in music, irritate the shit out of me! If you like it, you like it, fine, but being an alterna-snob is still being a snob. Sure, I like some strange/funky stuff too, but I can also sing every word to Tiffany's 1987 hit, "I Think We're Alone Now," a feat that weirdly impresses my husband.
3. The best concert I ever attended was Prince at Studio 54 in Las Vegas, 1999. The tickets were spendy, but standing twenty feet away while His Purpleness played "Purple Rain" was fucking orgasmic.
4. I prefer standard transmission cars to automatics.
5. Although we travelled quite a bit while I was growing up, I've never been to New York City. It was always too expensive and crowded for Mom's taste, even though there are fantastic museums and the Statue of Liberty.
6. I've always wondered if I have other half-siblings somewhere, but I've never had the courage to ask my dad. If I did ask him, though, I think he would be honest.

I know this is breaking the rules, I don't feel like tagging anyone else right now, maybe at a later date.

Celebrity Encounters I

• Nicky Katt- Staying at the Avalon in Beverly Hills with his dog. He was fine until he tried to bring the dog into the restaurant. When the manager politely told him that only service animals were allowed on the premises, Nicky got all, "Don't you know who I am???" at which point the manager said, "I don't care who you are, you can't bring your dog in here." Which is what happens when C-list actors with overgrown egos try and (unsuccessfully) cop celebrity 'tude.
• Ron Perlman- Used to work out at the same gym as him. He always wiped down his equipment, and he is built. Worked up to a smile and a friendly "hello," but always felt fluttery because before he was Hellboy, he was Vincent, the lion/human hybrid with that voice, from Beauty and the Beast. The stuff of my teenage romantic fantasies. Maybe it would be gratifying for him to know that he weakens the knees of at least one thirtysomething woman, and not all of his fans are comic book geeks.
• Alecia Silverstone- Looking rather strung-out one Sunday morning at the Hollywood Farmer's Market. Which is a great place for celebrity-spotting, btw. Also seen there:
• Sandra Oh- Head down and walking very fast, possibly escaping.
• Mena Suvari- Stunning in a gorgeous red dress, with her surprisingly short, but very cute, husband. Appeared very gracious while posing for pictures and signing autographs.
• John Salley- of the L.A. Lakers, head and shoulders above the crowd, but still smiling while surrounded by people. I wouldn't have recognized him except for his very funny appearance on Martin Short's Jiminy Glick.

Hmmm, maybe I should have saved this for abdpbt's "Listlessness Mondays." Oh well, there's always more to tell.

Feeling Strangely Fine

I don't really know why, except that I think a few things have gelled for me recently. Admittedly, Mom's death hit me hard, harder than expected, but it also clarified some things, as major events are wont to do. And as time passes, the grief and trauma settle a bit, the pain eases, and I'm able to reflect.
I've been worried, to some degree or another, for the past couple of years. Most of the worrys stem from loved one's health issues, but then there's the general never-enough-money worries and the I'm-not-where-I-want-to-be blues also. I'm not usually an anxious person, and the pressure and fretfulness have a corrosive effect on my personality. I'm snappish and mean, emotional, and I don't like it.
Here's what I've realized:

• The job I have right now is a bad fit for me. It's not creative, it's more responsibility than I want, and it asks me to behave in ways I find objectionable.
• I don't like big city life any more. I get pissy with the lack of privacy, rude people and being too far away from nature. I don't want to live in the boonies, but a smaller place would be better.
• I'm tired of feeling poor. Having a disabled spouse contributes to this feeling, but so does the cost of living in a big city. There are definitely less expensive places to live.
• I don't do enough to feed my soul, and I think souls need to be fed, regularly. I've abandoned interesting hobbies and am instead becoming a snail.
• I've devalued friendship and community in my life. I don't know if this an attitude thing, an introspection thing, or what, but it needs to change. I need it to change.

I'm still working things out, there are lots of difficulties and details that have to be dealt with, but I think 2009 is going to be a good year, maybe the best year of my life. Or maybe it's just the chocolate talking.

Overrated/Underrated

So, yeah, I think I stole this idea from Miss P., who I'm sure copied it from someone else. Like Shakespeare said, "There is nothing new under the sun." (And how many years ago was that?)

Five Overrated Things:

1. Jessica Simpson- I personally think she sold her soul to the devil. How else can someone that untalented remain so successful?
2. Flip-flops- But mostly the people who wear them constantly. Unless you live in Southeast Asia.
3. Christmas- Seriously, it's fucking crazy how much time and trouble people put in to this holiday. And I prefer personal holidays anyway.
4. Award shows- Thank God for DVR, because I'd never be able to get through the dreck otherwise. And seeing them live is even worse.
5. Non-GMO foods- I'll probably catch some shit for this one, but really, people have been genetically modifying stuff since the beginning of agriculture. Crops that freeze at lower temperatures, need less water and resist bugs without pesticides are good things.

Five Underrated Things:

1. Jennifer Jason Leigh- Wicked smart and super talented. Not conventionally beautiful, and so, underappreciated.
2. Black beans- Yummy, high in fiber, and go with just about anything.
3. Good tires- I get terrified every time it rains because so many assholes in Southern California are driving around on bald tires and don't remember what "braking distance" is.
4. The U.S. Postal Service- If you've tried mailing anything from many foreign countries, you understand.
5. Silk Soy Nog- Seriously goooood shit with almost none of the bad crap that's in regular egg nog.

Right Now

• I'm feeling pissed off and lonely and whiny.
• I feel like I have my head so far up my own ass, I might never see daylight again.
• I really want to watch What To Do In Case Of Fire, but I'd have to get it from Netflix and I won't be able to see it until probably Monday, at the earliest.
• Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and the six-week anniversary of my mother's death. Joy!
• I wanna go to Disneyland. I haven't been to an amusement park in years and it's been on my mind a lot lately. I am in dire need of some mindless fun.

In any case, Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Reasons To Go, Reasons To Stay

I know you're not supposed to make any important decisions for like, a year after a traumatic event, but NSA and I were considering this one for a quite a while before Mom died, so I'm not sure if that holds true. And I've never been one to just go along with the rules, which is a good and bad thing.

The Pros and Cons of Leaving SoCal and Moving to Colorado:

1. Living in perpetual summer gets pretty boring.
2. This job has been getting to me really badly lately,
3. BUT, it pays well for what I do.
4. If I quit, there are about 250 things I no longer have to worry about.
5. If I quit, there are several major things I have to worry about right away. (Like finding a new job.)
6. Which might be difficult in this economy.
7. Closer to NSA's family (both a pro and a con.)
8. Weather/smog conditions better for both of our health in Colorado, but particularly NSA.
9. Fewer people.
10. Colorado is now a blue state.
11. Easier access to green spaces and hiking/biking trails.
12. Cost of living is less.
13. Would need a car, which would probably mean
14. giving up the scooter.
15. Moving is expensive, time-consuming and stressful.
16. Winter is not the ideal time to move to Colorado.

I'm torn, but I think that a Spring move to Colorado is probably the best idea, if I can stick it out at this job for another four or five months. So, what do you think? I would really appreciate outside perspectives, particularly from those of you who have lived/are currently living in Colorado. Please share.

I Am Turning Into A Teenage Boy

During the past three days, I've started to question my gender identification. I'm definitely engaging in behaviors not typical of a thirty-something woman. Such behaviors are:

• Staying up waaay too late watching TV.
• Said TV consists of Ninja Warrior, Skins and Unbeatable Banzuke. (I don't think the target demographic for any of these shows is working women over thirty.)
• Sitting for hours in front my computer, watching videos on YouTube and searching for music.
• Eating mostly crap, including frozen dinners, Reser's Potato Salad, week-old pizza, chips, and drinking margaritas straight from the bottle. (I haven't started guzzling Mountain Dew yet, but if my computer time keeps going up, I probably will.)
• Sleeping on sheets that haven't been washed in a month.
• Texting with a cute girl who wanted to know how I am and what I'm doing.
• And, tonight I had to remind myself three times that the trash needed to go out! Sheesh, kids these days.

Of course, if I were really turning into a teenage boy, then I would probably be watching a lot more porn, and playing with my breasts.

This Weekend

• Took a long, lovely ride on my scooter. I love driving up and down the hills around here, the breeze and the sunshine feel really good, and the smells are incredible. Sometimes nice, sometimes icky, but always present. Down one long hill, there's a particular scent I would call Desert Sage, but that sounds too heavy. A light, warm, spicy odor. I also passed a guy pruning the rosemary hedges in front of a school, that is a heavenly smell.
• Vacuumed up about three cats-worth of hair. It's been warm, they shed like fiends and hate being brushed, and I don't enjoy being scratched. So sucking up their fur is pretty much the only option.
• Helped NSA go through some stuff, trying to figure out what he needs to take with, what can stay behind and what can be mailed later. Everything is just sort of cool and efficient now, but I was awake for two hours last night turning things over in my head.
• Won a whole $2.00 in the lottery. A pretty piss-poor return on $6.00.
• Had a couple of shots of Irish Cream in my evening chai. Very tasty and a nice warm feeling without the temptation to overdo it like other liquors might inspire. I still have the urge to get really, really stinkin' drunk though.

What I Would Miss If I Were Suddenly Transported To 1808

I spent the whole morning in a pointless meeting, I'm feeling crabby and irritable, so a little exercise in appreciating the here-and-now.

• My husband, because he never would have survived his childhood in the 1800's. He was born in the '60's and is lucky to have survived then.
• Refrigeration- even more than air conditioning, there are so many things we can keep, eat and do because of portable cold.
• Air travel- Sure, I haven't done much lately, but the thought that I could jump on a plane and, in a matter of hours, be in Australia or Brazil, France or Japan, helps get me through.
• Penicillin- I guess this an obvious one, but neo-Luddites like my mother really fail to realize how much modern medicine has improved our lives. I mean, I'd much rather take Tylenol than laudanum for a headache. And if I got an infection while stranded in the past, you can bet I'd be scarfing all the moldy bread I could find.
• Entertainment- Yeah, yeah, I watch waaay too much T.V., I could be crafting or doing something productive, but fake Hollywood deaths seem far preferable to me than public executions.
• Foreign cuisine- While I'm sure 1808 probably had some of the best buttermilk biscuits you could ever want, we have access to so much more now. Like sushi, and tapas, and really, really good Italian. And while I know that food safety has been a huge concern lately, you're not going to get typhoid or TB like you could have in the past.

I guess my point is that while people tend to romanticize the past, now really is the best time to be alive.