I can't believe it's been a year already (well, actually, a year and a day, I'm a little behind, as usual), and what a year it's been! A huge amount of heartbreak, sadness, pain, but hope too. I labelled 2007 the worst year of my life, and I think that still holds true (so far). 2008 has been pretty rough, but good has come from the tragedy. I think I've grown up considerably in the last twelve months, pain and loss will do that, though I definitely have more growing to do.
Strangely, I feel like I'm getting back to my old self; the happy, unworried person I used to be. I can't say exactly why this is, except that I'm gaining perspective, and whereas before I was unworried because not a lot of bad things had happened, now I feel I'm unworried because bad things have definitely happened, and I've survived. I've had moments of crushing anxiety, crippling emotional hurt, urges to just give up and run away, and I haven't. I've done the mature thing and tried to deal with my problems in a sane and rational manner. It hasn't been easy, but I'm more honest and straightforward than I ever have been.
This blog has helped a lot. Being able to express myself without self-censoring, without fear of judgement or criticism is fantastically freeing, even if I have to do it in relative anonymity. And there is so much wonderful support out there in the blogosphere, especially from Susan and Anya, Cat and Sass, Lisa and Amy and Miss P. All of your kind words, helpful comments and understanding, help probably more than you will ever know. Thank you.