Well, I guess I must really need an outlet for my feelings, because while I'm afraid that I'll end up revealing too much and get dooced, I can't seem to stop myself from blogging. I don't know what I think it will achieve, except maybe making me feel better, but I've been an inveterate journal-izer for a long time now, and it's a hard habit to break. Also, the exhibitionist in me loves to make private things public, so baring my soul is titillating.
I've been helping out a coworker for the past few days because, it turns out, she has cancer and needs blood transfusions before she can have chemotherapy. Four pints of blood, to be exact, half a gallon. At a thousand dollars per pint. That seems like a lot, of blood and money. And it blows my mind, because I'm fucking surrounded by cancer! I know that people now have the opportunity to die of cancer, because a hundred years ago, you'd probably die of pneumonia or influenza or some nasty infection before cancer had the chance to kill you, but it's still weird how themes seem to come up in my life. And I don't think it's a case of simply becoming more aware, although it could be that I'm aging, and then, so are the people around me.
My mother persists in her homeopathic treatments and visits to her healer, although her homeopathic practitioner has advised her against drinking coffee, which my mom can't do. She can't give up her morning caffeine fix even to try to help her healing process. She has said that she will see an oncologist, but has yet to make an appointment. She told me about the lump in her breast last February, almost a year ago. Everytime I see one of those "early detection is the key" ads, I just want to SCREAM. For now, I've been trying to keep my stress levels under control, I've got to get rid of this lead weight in my stomach.